Dear readers,
When I was 20 years old, I unexpectedly found myself at a weekend meditation retreat—a place I never imagined I’d be. Although I knew meditation helped my parents find balance, it seemed boring and meant for other people. However, I was at a point where I felt hopelessly lost. My adolescence and early college years had been turbulent, leading me to take a break from school and move in with my mom and sister in Takoma Park, Maryland. My mom had recently relocated there, and I didn’t know anyone in the area. When she suggested we go on a meditation retreat for the weekend, I didn’t object. I had nothing else going on and was grappling with significant mental and emotional pain and confusion. During this low point, I was open to new experiences. So, I agreed to try meditation.
The retreat was located in a beautiful setting by a river. I was nervous and pretty uncertain of what I would find. I was greeted by a supportive, relaxed, and warm community of people who were ready to show me the ropes. We practiced sitting still together, and I waited to see if my fears about meditation would come true. Would my thoughts and feelings be so loud that I would need to get up and leave? Would I be intolerably bored? Would stillness reveal some internal monsters that I had intentionally been hiding from?
I was relieved to find that none of these things happened. At least, not to the extent I was afraid of. I sat in meditation with the rest of the group and did the suggested breathing exercises. Sometimes uncomfortable feelings and thoughts came up, but to my surprise, if I stayed and paid attention they would also pass. Sometimes I was bored and sometimes I was sad, but overall I felt like I was building a container in which I could handle all these feelings, thoughts, and sensations more easily.
That weekend, along with other changes I was making, changed the trajectory of my life. Over the past 20+ years, I have continued to practice meditation in various forms and it has gotten me through my most difficult moments. I believe cultivating this practice created the inner strength I needed to build the life and career I really wanted. I will admit, I have remained an imperfect practitioner. But I always come back to it and cherish it dearly. Meditation has helped me to find peace within myself and has allowed me to connect more deeply with others. It has helped me to develop compassion for myself as well as for others. By regulating my nervous system, it has helped me overcome health struggles with greater ease and less suffering.
There are many modes of meditation, breathwork, and yoga that help people practice healing states of consciousness. If you are curious and want to learn more, try the free Insight Timer meditation app or check out the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. If you have questions as to how meditation can enhance your health and well-being or want help with developing your practice, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Warm regards,
Dr. Gajer
