“You are so lucky, you are tall and thin.”
I’ve heard that statement countless times, and each time, it catches me off guard. My instinct tells me the speaker couldn’t possibly be referring to me.
The truth is, I’ve lost the same 20-35 pounds more times than I can count. It all began when I first noticed the excess rolls on my stomach at the age of 20. For the next two decades, I embarked on a rollercoaster of weight loss and gain, experimenting with restrictive eating, intense exercise, calorie counting, elimination diets, prolonged fasting, paleo, and anything else I thought might help me control my weight. Despite successfully shedding the pounds each time, the inevitable cycle resumed whenever life became busy and stressful, causing me to regain 25-30 pounds.
My dieting was my closely guarded secret. I would discreetly track calories on my phone, ensuring no one caught a glimpse of my anxious efforts. Each setback to a heavier weight brought overwhelming shame, as I struggled to maintain a smaller shape. My closet housed clothes in various sizes, and I derived a sense of validation when fitting into the smaller ones, yet I felt deeply inadequate when I couldn’t. Despite outward successes in my career, I allowed my weight to define my worth, with the number on the scale dictating my mood for days or even weeks at a time.
Balancing a demanding full-time role in emergency medicine, I became intensely motivated to address my weight challenges. Determined to uncover the complexities of human metabolism, I devoted much of my free time to research and understanding. Seeking answers on why achieving a healthy weight seemed elusive, I delved into numerous books, attended expert-led courses, and embraced a proactive approach, becoming my own living experiment.
What I discovered was that years of restriction, intense exercise, and calorie counting actually harmed my metabolism. Extensive research has revealed the detrimental effects of chronic dieting on both women and men. Moreover, I realized that as long as I viewed my body as inadequate, achieving a sustainable, healthy weight and a positive body image remained elusive. Despite the loneliness and isolation I initially felt on my journey, I soon realized that many others, both women and men, grappled with similar feelings of inadequacy, especially when it came to managing cravings and emotional eating.
My transformation was gradual, requiring a shift in my mindset towards weight management. Rather than fixating on shedding pounds, I redirected my focus towards maintaining strength and fitness. Instead of dwelling on restrictions, I began nourishing my body with the nutrients it requires for optimal function. This includes prioritizing around 90g of protein daily and incorporating a variety of colorful vegetables for essential micronutrients. Now, I consciously cultivate positive thoughts about my body, appreciating its capabilities. I’m thankful for the ability to ski with my kids, master arm balances in yoga, and maintain the energy to run my business and positively impact my community.
I now understand that maintaining a healthy body and weight is closely linked to my stress levels. The combination of chronic dieting, excessive exercise, career demands, and parenting stress took a toll on my metabolism. To restore balance, I’ve prioritized self-care and rest, taking responsibility for managing stress’s impact on my physiology. I apply the same tools I share with my patients, focusing on a balanced diet, moderate exercise, and prioritizing sleep. This approach has already made a significant difference. I embrace the inevitable ups and downs of health and weight, finding joy in sharing a healthy perspective with my patients. Your trust in me is truly an honor. Remember, our doors are always open for questions or extra support on your journey.
Warm regards,
Dr. Gajer
