In my work with patients striving for better health, I’ve delved into the science of habits and the mechanics of change.
Through countless interactions with highly intelligent and accomplished individuals, I’ve observed that, contrary to popular belief, the hurdle in making lifestyle changes isn’t often lack of knowledge but rather lack of ingrained habits. But why is change such a struggle? Despite our modern setting, we’re wired with ancient genes, evolved over millennia to ensure survival in our environment. These genes favor stability, deterring frequent changes, impulsivity, and the abandonment of our social groups. This inherent wiring makes change an uphill battle. However, once we surmount the initial challenge and employ enough willpower to establish new habits, behaviors can seamlessly become second nature.
So, how do we cultivate habits and instigate change within ourselves? I found some valuable insights in the work of New York Times Bestselling author Gretchen Rubin, who devised the framework of the “Four Tendencies” to illuminate how individuals navigate self-improvement. These tendencies—Upholder, Obliger, Rebel, and Questioner—shed light on how individuals respond to inner (self-imposed) and outer (externally imposed) expectations.
The Upholder thrives on discipline and effortlessly meets both internal and external expectations.
The Obliger readily fulfills external expectations but grapples with meeting their internal commitments. They excel at forming habits when held accountable by others.
The Rebel struggles with conforming to both external and internal expectations, living by the credo, “You can’t make me, and neither can I.” They initiate change within themselves by emphasizing spontaneity and freedom in their routines.
The Questioner meets internal expectations effortlessly but may sometimes face challenges with external expectations. They thrive when they fully comprehend the necessity for change, seeking abundant information and diverse perspectives to make informed decisions.
Curious about your tendency? TAKE GRETCHEN RUBIN’S QUIZ and share your results with us!
